Originally Written for unbound.nyc in celebration of their Limited Edition Harry Potter Box
Also check out this great article about Adult Harry Potter Photos that cannot be unseen:
So you like Harry Potter. You’re an adult, who ALSO likes to do adult things. Like sex. Sometimes you don’t have the patience, time, or the right person to have sex with, so you get down and dirty with yourself. If you’re like me, you get down and dirty with yourself regardless of how often you’re getting it. A lot of people just don’t LOVE porn, or like to use their imaginations when getting off. Some people just want something a little more discreet. With the advent of the Internet, erotica became a lot of accessible, and a lot more interesting. Harry Potter erotica is only one of the many fandom-based offshoots of smut, and if there is a fan base AT ALL, there is erotic fan fiction. Here is a taste of the wild and wonderful (and more often than not, BIZARRE) world of Harry Potter erotica for your reading (and rubbing) pleasure. Seven stories for seven horcruxes, or something like that.
1) “A Better Way to Grieve” by Fanfictionfan365 (hyperlink: http://hp.adult-fanfiction.org/story.php?no=600099079)
The couplings in HP erotica don’t always make sense. Take, for example, this delightful little romp in which Luna Lovegood helps George Weasley get through his yearly mourning period. If you’re into the Weasley brothers but always fancied yourself more of a Luna, this one is for you. Note: lots of throat fucking (there is a surprising amount of fellatio in Harry Potter Erotica).
2) “Harry Potter’s Ghostly Experience” by mercuryidols (hyperlink: http://www.hpfanficarchive.com/stories/viewstory.php?sid=1666&chapter=1)
This story is for those wanting a more *authentic* Harry Potter experience. Obviously a LOT of sex happens at Hogwarts- it’s a giant castle full of secret rooms, teenagers, and magic. And… horny ghosts? Take a sensual journey as Harry gets Moaning Myrtle off in the bathtub, because, why not?
3) “Ginny’s Self-Help Fantasy” by mercuryidols (hyperlink: http://www.hpfanficarchive.com/stories/viewstory.php?sid=1544&chapter=1)
If voyeurism, masturbation, and girl-on-girl sex turns you one, then you’re in for a treat in this Hermione/Ginny fanfic. It follows Ginny’s fantasies about Hermione while they are summer roommates at the Burrow.
5) “Violet Potter: The Slaves of Lord Voldemort” by Apex113 (hyperlink: http://www.hpfanficarchive.com/stories/viewstory.php?sid=1040&index=1)
If you’re into the bad guys, or at least into BDSM and sub/dom dynamics, this gender-swapped fic of “Violet Potter” as Voldemort’s slave just might do it for you. If it doesn’t, you can always check out some photos of a young Ralph Fiennes. In this story, Voldemort casts a spell on female Harry to turn her into his sex slave and makes her his “pet.”
6) “Deck the Halls” by greyfriars-bobby (hyperlink: http://www.hpfanficarchive.com/stories/viewstory.php?sid=962&chapter=1)
Are threesomes your thing? How about threesomes with the Weasley twins? I can’t be wring in assuming that many people going through puberty during the release of the mid-to-late Harry Potter movies fantasized about this? Can multi-Weasley sex be a genre on its own? The author uses the word “feels” instead of feelings, but other than that, this is something I can definitely get into.
7) “Naked Quidditch Match: Parts 1-10” by Dillan1 (hyperlink: http://www.sexstories.com/story/66292/naked_quidditch_match_pt_1)
For this article, I tried to stay away from anything over one chapter or installment, and anything that didn’t get straight to the sex. This story, however, slipped through the cracks. It is a story of a game of truth or dare gone wrong and reinforced by magic, and is told entirely in emails. It has some sexy moments but for the most part is hilarious, and in the context of teenagers at boarding school with magic, TOTALLY makes sense.
If these stories don’t quite satisfy your need for HP Smut, you can always head over to The Dirty Potter Project (hyperlink: http://www.thedirtypotterproject.tumblr.com) for some visual aids. There is also Harry Potter smut out there for ALL TYPES. If you can dream it, someone has written an incredibly detailed fanfic about it. If erotica + artwork don’t do it for you, there are always the “3D ANIMATED HARRY POTTER PORN” videos on PornHub. I saw the screenshots and I’m too afraid to watch them, so be my guest.
Some general Fan fiction erotica warnings to head:
– Since the Harry Potter series takes place when the protagonists are 11-17, many of the stories involve underage sex.
– When browsing around for HP Erotica, take note of the tags on each story. Be aware of tags that you might find triggering, like rape, incest, etc. Stay safe out there!
– These are stories written by usernames on the Internet. Don’t expect perfect plotting, canon, or great spelling and grammar.
– Since the stories are largely heteronormative, many fanfics are as well.